making small talk

[Deplorable, thank you!]

 When you pull out your battery and re-install it in spring........... or do any type of work on your motorcycle

Make sure you get your flasher relay and other electrical connectors properly secured and tied up how they were when the bike was new

V-twin that both these were laying on the exhuast pipe and he wondered why he had no turn signals......

[Deplorable, thank you!]

2004 Triumph Speed triple...... 9000 miles, most of them on a track (race tires installed)

When you bring me a bike claiming to "only" need a new rear tire despite you have never ridden it not even once and bought it from the guy back in 2011 and, you have a brand new tire and bring me this.........

crashed bike with tires on it from 2004
4 brand new tires in the bed of a truck hard as stone with production dates of 19th week of 2004, all race tires, all had been hung on a 2x4 in a carport in vegas for the past 15odd years........ so the beads were folded over and the rubber was so hard you couldn't even leave a mark in it with a fingernail, hell barely any mark when shoving a screwdriver at it

Your aftermarket handlebars with oe brake lines makes the lines too short and they actually are holding the suspension sht 2.5" at all times (you know, pulling hard on the brake line all the time and actually lifting the wheel off the ground on hard acceleration via the brake line, since it can't extend)
the front axle is bent in two plains of more .040" in each of those plains
The brake fluid is black like the blackest coffee you have ever seen
and of course your battery "has been on a tender since bought new in 2011" is shit and won't even start the bike now....


Well thankfully this guy didn't mind that what he expected to be a $40 in and out in 30 minutes deal turn into a week (new front axle from Triumpg had to get shipped here from overseas) and a day later and about $700 total to fix it all and actually make it safe to ride.....

2 new tires (no more 18" tubes in his 17" tubeless wheels either!!)
new front axle
new battery
new brake line
new handlebars
new rear brake pads
ultrasonic clean all the calipers and thoroughly flush the brake fluid

Well he went away happy, albeit a little lighter in the wallet than he planned, but much much safer for the result.......

[Deplorable, thank you!]

"My throttle sometimes doesn't work"


I had to laugh at her description.... and her lack of even thinking she had any other issues.....

She did not mention how her brake and clutch both squeel when you pull them or how the clutch lever travels almost to the bar before it even engages the cable, nor that she had about 14psi of air in her 8 year old tires, and that her chain shined like a fine silver and had enough kinks and free play to make horrible noises when rotated

[Deplorable, thank you!]

If your oil light is on when you turn on the key and then you panic and look at the oil level while it is on the sidestand and think it doesn't have any.....

Then call me, panic stricken that the oil change I did the day before, magically the oil disappeared and you have no oil pressure
and I ask you
"Is there oil on the rear wheel or all over the back of the bike?" and you say "no"

"Is there any drips on your garage floor?" and you say "NO"

"Did you start it? you know the oil pressure light only goes out when the engine is running?" and you tell me how you "have been riding for 20+ years and have owned 3 of these bikes it doesn't have any oil, I know it doesn't"

So despite the fact I know nothing is wrong and you are just being an idiot...... I load up some tools an oil filter and 4 quarts of oil etc and head the 20 miles to your house only to find....

 yep- you are an idiot, I stand the bike upright and there is plenty of oil, right to the top line
                                 I start the bike up and yep....... oil light goes out the second the bike starts.....

crisis averted, well until the next time the guy adds an extra quart of oil to his bike- because it is probable he checked his oil on the sidestand again, saw no oil in the window and already forgot that valuable life lesson and added another quart? Be he claimed he didn't, so who knows......

Obviously since I charged him nothing for my wasted time and troubles, he learned nothing........ I learned something though, charge idiots for being idiots and feel no remorse about doing so!!!

gee tell me again how you have been riding these bikes all these years and know so much.............


Bob was dumb, don't be BOB

[Deplorable, thank you!]

So last story for the day......


 So some guy finds me via recommendations on some chatroom or board or facebook or somewhere via the internets....

 Some idiots (on said internets) have already given him shitty advice and ruined his bike for him in the process, since now said guy decided he and his best friend could and should replace the cam chain tensioner themselves based on the shitty advice of morons...
You know, save all that monies and do it yourself...... It was easy they said....... nevermind that you obviously have no skills or knowledge in the motorcycle mechanics world and hell obvioulsy looking at all the rounded off screws and stripped off bolt heads you don't own any decent tools and even less so know how to use tools if you did..........

 So bike arrives. It is 10 yr old R1 that has been crashed and rashed and beat to death despite its sub 10k miles. oh and he thinks it is worth 7700 (yep he has this flat grey/black repainted hunk o shit up for sale)..... I really loved his initial commentary when arriving..... " I always left turbo busa's in the dust", "ZX14's never could keep up", "it didn't matter who I raced I always beat them by a mile", "I just need my bike to not run like a ninja 250"

 So I tell him what I already know is the problem..........
 "the problem is you and buddy touched it and did shit work you had no clue how to and I bet $100 your cam timing is off atleast a tooth or more and most likely you bent valves."

he says "well it was making a little noise and had a leak around the oe cam chain tensioner and everyone told me the cam chain tensioner on these is shit and to buy a manual tensioner and they are easy to install"
 I love his homemade cork cut out gasket too..... apparently he says that APE tensioners didn't come with the correct gasket?

Days/weeks later after working tirelessly doing what they don't know how to do and missing many a riding days - he and his buddy go to start the thing and it rattles and bucks and rattles more and keeps dying and they don't know what they did wrong, they did it just like all those morons told them to...... But some of those morons on said internets told them if it is still rattling they didn't tighten the tensioner enough..morons- too damn many morons on the internets!!!
 Finally someone told them they probably did it wrong and the cam timing is likely off etc........

 Well somehow these two brainiacs figure out how to take it apart (mind you they didn't get it all back together properly and I think the tool they used the most was a 1/2 drive breaker bar and a worn out phillips screwdriver)

but he claims they got the cam timing correct now and it was about 3 teeth off, but it still sounds horrible and runs worse than a 250 ninja...... and still makes lots of rattling noises

Well I got it apart this week;
~after having to chisel loose a couple of the valve cover bolts (allen heads were completely stripped away and all of them were so tight I thought for sure my allen socket was going to twist in the ones it could bite into.....)
~after chiselling loose every JIS#2 screw that holds the airbox lid on.......... they stripped every single one of them and again- no idea how they didn't pull those brass nuts out of the plasctic airbox, they were that fricking tight......
~ after finding the left upper engine mount (case guards that interfered with removing plastics) is stuck a few turns from actually being tight, so it will only rotate about 1/2 turn tighter from how arrived (spacer still bounced around) and about 1 turn looser from how arrived before the bolt begins to twist...ie- right before the bolt breaks...... it sure looks by the angle of the head either it is cross threaded and crooked or the bolt is bent, but either way without it coming out a piece of fairing is trapped and in the way as is the bulky frame slider..... not to even get into the whole- the engine is a stressed member of the frame thing and how that not being secured properly is not good for the frame nor for the cylinder head it threads into
~ did I mention the spark plugs? yeah, the left two (like one person was working on one side of the bike and someone else on the otherside) #1 and #2 were both so tight I had to break out my 1/2" breaker bar and really reef on it to get them to come loose (yet magically the right two #3 and #4 were both little more than finger tight......... tq spec is 84 inch lbs just like the cam caps)

Well lets move on..........
 I get the valve cover off and rotate the engine over (it is super hard to turn by hand...... I loosen the manual tensioner by 3 full turns and can finally get the top of the chain between the cams to just wiggle slightly..oh oloky there, nnow the engine turns over much easier by hand) I get it to the proper cam timing check location and looky there, exhaust cam timing is still advanced 2 full teeth and what is with all the guoges and dents all over the cam sprockets? obvioulsy they used those to pry on....ugh
So I pull out the cylinder leakage tester and the feeler guages and check leakage and valve clearances fully expecting to find bent valves, maybe all of them- who they hell knows what these bafoons ruined along the way

4 valves are tight and cylinder leakage results show the best cylinder with only 5% leakage and the worst 8% leakage.............. WOW talk about these idiots dodging a bullet in the form of their own stupidity.......

So I guess it will live again without too much muss and fuss and he can go back out and slay some more of those turbo busa's and zx14's and any liter bike ever..........
or atleast that is his story- I doubt by looking at the tires he has ever leaned the bike past 15* and by the massive cupping they both have and the 45 psi of air in them......... he wasn't drag racing either

[Deplorable, thank you!]

holy crap that picture got big and blurry.....wtf

removed said blurry pic and it wouldn't let me add a different one....... maybe later I will shrink one down and add below.....

[Deplorable, thank you!]

A quickie........... don't pinch your wires under your seat!!!

[Deplorable, thank you!]

Just so everyone (who bothers to read the thread) knows....

Dunlop has rebates once again extending until August 31st
Bridgestone also has their rebate program running again extending to August 31st as well


No reason whatsoever anyone should be caught out riding on crappy tires!


think about your safety first, and everyone around you!

The attached picture is not okay to ride on, not for any reason in any weather!

[Deplorable, thank you!]

Tire pressure guages

When buying a new guage do you look for an ANSI certified guage?

Do you know what that really means??

Well here a link to a brief and quick read......it doesn't mean as much good as one would think! (although I still make sure all mine have this certification)

https://www.ucimfg.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Gauges-Catalog-4c.pdf



There are plenty of choices out there, and it seems every few years there is a new "test/comparison" between gauges.........which basically means which company paid the most to be rated the top dawg-- sure I am a skeptic and for good reason

2018 test/review linky

http://www.reviewlab.com/best-tire-pressure-gauges

2019 test/review linky

https://groomandstyle.com/best-tire-pressure-gauge-review/

some other interesting links

https://www.consumerreports.org/cro/tire-pressure-gauges/buying-guide/index.htm

https://www.caranddriver.com/features/a15124483/best-tire-pressure-gauges-reviews/


How often do you check and set your tire pressures? and are you setting them to the correct pressures...
both in terms of guage consistency and accuracy
and in terms of the proper pressure and not some idiotic oem suggestion for those oem tires you wore out years ago and are no longer riding on.........

Food for thought for everyone.

[Elk]

Good post. 

I bought my good gauges years ago when I was actively tracking/instructing cars. I have not given them any further thought other than to occasionally check to make sure they read the same pressure.

On a related note, I am impressed with how accurate my cars' TPMS pressure read outs are.

[Deplorable, thank you!]

Good post. 

I bought my good gauges years ago when I was actively tracking/instructing cars. I have not given them any further thought other than to occasionally check to make sure they read the same pressure.

On a related note, I am impressed with how accurate my cars' TPMS pressure read outs are.

My truck has that digital readout of all 4 tires too, and one can watch the pressures increase as they get hot.... better still- when I rotate my tires, the location of said TPMS sensor rotates with it, so I always know what the rt front is vs the other 3 or the vulnerable rt rear that always takes the most abuse on RWD powerful heavy vehicles.... I do not have to reprogram or dick around with anything when I do a rotate........  then wondering, well the rt front went to the left rear and now the tpms is saying that my lr is low....is it really the lr or is it the lf now? (example, this never happened)

Surprising these too are remarkably accurate....

I still love a couple of the tire pressure guages I have had since the 80's but I did buy a new one a couple years ago that was one of those "top-rated" and it routinely read about 4 psi lower than these other two, so I went to the trackside vendor and compared the readings of them to his "professional Dunlop" guage and my 30 year old ones read the same as his and that new fandangle one read low.....
 So I don't even use the new one and just keep using the other two

new doesn't always mean better sadly........

mustang... just a low tire pressure light comes on if they fall below about 20psi  and you get no clue as to which one until you put a guage on manually (less than 2 inches of sidewall- they can be flat and you wouldn't know by looking at them)

[vince]

What I like about the TPMS is that you can see how fast tires warm up. Even is below zero temps. And yes you can see which wheel is doing all the work. Pretty nice on all wheel drive cars and trucks.

[Elk]

My truck has that digital readout of all 4 tires too, and one can watch the pressures increase as they get hot.

This, coupled with temperature readings, is very interesting - particularly when the starting pressure on the front and rear tires are different.  E.g., lower pressure tires heat up quicker.

[Deplorable, thank you!]

So you decide Saturday morning you want to go riding in the afternoon after it dries up......

but you look at your tires and finally realize you need new tires

Nevermind it is raining out now and you live in Red Wing some 48 miles away from getting it to me........

some people.....................

[Deplorable, thank you!]

maybe the thought process was something like....

the wet roads will keep the steel cords from getting much worse via keeping heat and lubrication between them and the road?

maybe it was a suicide attempt? I mean who needs traction or sipes to disperse water, right?

Whatever it was- this was ridiculously stupid and dangerous and I give zero fucks you claim to have never went about 50mph the whole way here, too dangerous and risky and completely stupid to ride on these anywhere.........let alone nearly 50 miles in the rain!

prime example of tires that needed to be replaced more than 1000 miles ago!!!!